On Mehangai : Views of a Gujju uncle

   Despite what people would have to say about the various nuances of the Indian Rails, I have always loved travelling by the “chuk-chuk gadi” and preferred it over all other forms of transport.The part which I fancy the most is the interesting conversations you build up with the people in your coach, it is diversity at its best, and people spare no efforts to spill out all the gyan they have .

   Just recently , on a trip home on my regular train,August Kranti , I ended up being dragged into an interesting conversation on our woes of the times “ Mehangai”  aka Inflation. 

   The conversation started on a regular note, with Aunties crying out how their hearts weep while cooking  food , what with the ever increasing process of sabji , pulses , and cooking oil. Of the sky-rocketing prices of petrol , and how it affects us all. And then there emerged this Gujju uncle , who with his sassy way of communication ,changed the direction of the conversation .What views he held , were incredibly delightful and different to hear.

   Our dear Gujju uncle , questioned us in an obvious manner , that how is inflation causing us troubles. According to him , India is becoming rich , what could be bought for Rs. 10 around 5 years back ,can be bought for  Rs. 100 now , and that’s indicative of how our spending power has increased, that we can now afford to spend a 100 bucks for what we would do in a tenner. What he said made us all ponder , it’s true the average standard of living in India has increased. Pizza hut, Dominoes’ is no longer a rich man’s joint , malls are increasingly being visited by the middle class. 

   And then Uncle continued his explanation :  For us, born of early 80’s and before things have become expensive , but not for today’s generation .We oldies still calculate the value of rupee as per previous days , in our minds we still feel , ahhh Rs. 100!!! that used to be enough to survive a month. But for the newer generation, the story is different . It’s not expensive – it’s the rate of their age, it’s the prices they have grown up in.  Brands to them are more affordable now.  The whole standard of living has increased !!!

   In the end it left me with a happy feeling, it felt as if I was enlightened with a new thought. Our Gujju uncle , made me realize how creative a man could be , how his thought process could conjure reasons to feel  happy about everything in life , to find that silver lining in the cloud !!

   What made the conversation stick to mind ,was the hilarious way in which our dear Gujju uncle and his son were steering it forward.  To quote: 

When will I find my Hobbes!!

Bill Watterson’s classic ‘Calvin and Hobbes’ has always been one of my favorite scripts. His profound views on the daily nuances of life, makes your head go ‘drip-a-drip’.  It always amazed me how well did Watterson represent the harsh realities of life in such a comical-fashion, of how he could make you laugh-out-your-wits and put you into deep ponder of things that are at the same time. 

But what lasts in my mind the most whenever I flip through the classic 4-column script, is the affectionate character that is Hobbes. Our dear stripped-orange creature, casts a jaundiced view over the manifold failings of humanity, at the same time maintains a faith in the very human.

In every sense, Hobbes fulfills Calvin’s yearning for conformity.

And that’s what makes me jealous of Calvin, and my heart yearns for my very own Hobbes.

One might argue I am a weak soul to say that I long for conformity, that the greatest of writers and revolutionary minds , always quoted conformity to be the “jailer of freedom” and “enemy of growth”.
I don’t say I am opposed to that view, but any human does need an approval of his state of affairs. 

And that’s where Hobbes come in, no matter how crazy Calvin’s ideas where, how ‘off-society’  his actions where , the orange fellow was always there to make him believe he’s sane. Now you can’t call this stifling. It’s as free as a man could be.

My ideas might not be as crazy as Calvin’s, but I know they are crazy enough to make any sane man say “Are you nuts? People will mock you!!”

So will I ever find my Hobbes – I guess I will have to make peace with the bunny tugged at the corner of my bed, to fulfill my yearning ,  Coz I know I cannot make other people conform to my own whims and fancies. Hell, I cannot make even my own body obey me.

And so I was Mumbai-nized...

Who am I ? Well, just another alien whom the ‘City of many ‘ – dear Mumbai has engulfed , and made her very own dweller.
Why Am I penning this down ? When you see the ‘this can NEVER happen’ becoming true , in a much shorter time span , you get the killing urge to let the world know , it happened , you transformed , and belong here.

How is this different from what other

Victims have to say ?  Not at all, you see ’ Mumbai-nization’ results in pretty much the same symptoms in all its targets !

Two years ago, when I landed in Mumbai, I hated the very air I was breathing in. Occasional calls to my dear friends and family, cribbing , sobbing , and using every curse word I knew on the city , didn’t quiet calm me down. But then, the city worked its magic like it does to every other soul who dares to step on it, embalming me with its golden potion , and converting me into a Mumbai-kar .
I cannot fixate the change to a “the Date” ; Mumbai’s embalming process is pretty gradual .But it happened my dear friends , in every sense of the word – it DID.
How did I know I was transformed ? It’s simple , there’s a checkilist , and you know you are trapped once you’ve tick-marked most of them .
Here’s my very own checklist, on you know you are a Mumbai-kar when :

 üYou start craving for Vada-pavs ::  What 4 years of Pune did’nt do to me, an year of Mumbai did

 üFall in love with local-trains. And actually prefer them over any other mode of transport.

 üYou’d rather use your legs and walk up , than use your mouth to curse the traffic : Believe me , you’d rather  get down from the auto few steps before and walk than wait for the lights to go green.

 üYou run your breath to catch that last local, and even though you trip and hurt yourself , you are proud of the fact that you actually made it ! And the 1st word that came out of my mouth was “YAY” , rather than “Ouch”

 üWhat , you are not a Mumbai-kar – how dare you curse my city !! - You’d crib about the nuances of the city , yet if any of your Non-Mumbai-kar friends start doing the same, you feel offended and would jump to the other side , and go all “ga ga” with praises .

 üSea-Side Bliss all for Free - You’d prefer travelling an hour to enjoy your weekends just sitting at Marine Drive , rather than going to a fancy restaurant just few min from your door.

 üLiving in the rains : You become impervious to rains-rather thunderstorms. You learn to jump a little, take a right and a left , over those puddles, which earlier used to feel like an entire lake in itself , on your way to office.

  üHaggler of the Day :You become an expert in haggling , and beam with Pride , when you are able to get the price down to half.

 üShop till you drop;but of course @Sasta  : Well , you buy , even if you don’t have the space to keep a pin in your wardrobe. Make memory notes of stuff you liked while walking thorugh Colaba, and get the same when you next go to Linking Road , and save yourselves those few extra bucks

 üParty abhi Baki hai :You start entering the clubs at 11:00 pm ,and Wooa the party starts!

 üGhode ki Neend : You can sleep soundly , even with the all traffic noise buzzing through the window. Even when you are cramped up in a local.

   üScared of an empty street : You are no more afraid of the multitudinous roads , and you get a terrible sense of a disaster in progress on seeing an empty street.

 üEat what you desire  : You’d rather wait an hour to get into the restaurant you decided for the night , rather than take a ‘no-wait’ entry into the one next to it. I actually travelled all the way to Bandra to reach the original Candies!! WTF , I didn’t even know there were two more of these , before I made a rendezvous trip on their discovery.

Well, there is much more to add, but the above made me sure that I was infected with the disease. I call it a disease because that’s what my friends call it – for me it’s actually become a way of life. It’s not an infection, it’s a habit which I am happy to have picked up, a boundless love and adoration for the city , the “City of Dreams “ .

All in all , I can finally say – PROUD TO BE A MUMBAI-KAR !!