The Fallback Plan

Well, I highly recommend “The Fallback Plan” by Leigh Stein to all my twenty –something friends , who have felt a little lost and a lot confused after college .
 
To sum up, the book’s protagonist Esther Kohler is a twenty-something recent college graduate, unemployed and living with her parents. Unable to decide what to do with herself, she spends her days aimlessly, hanging out with her high school friends and her old crush , drinking a lot. Determined to help her through a tough time (or just to get her off her back, really) Esther’s mom finds her a babysitting job and not having anything better to do with her time, Esther takes that up. Sorting through other people’s problems helps Esther realize that she must face her own issues and find a compromise between her dreams and real life, and maybe even build some self-esteem in the process.

At the end of the day, the book put me into a reflective mode again, as to what was my fallback plan..
All of friends are either
Getting Married : and while I am happy from heart for them , every “engaged” status on facebook gives me Goosebumps.
Or
Pursuing higher studies : And every such news makes me wonder am I the only fool sticking in IT . That I would be the only one left out without a PG . 

And all the while my mind is busy in conjuring answers to: 

To My Parents: Reasons to convince them as to why I do not want to get married for another 2 years atleast.

• I am yet to achieve a lot of things before I am settled. Like what my parents ask, and I have no great answers 
• I hav’nt met the man of my dreams .This My parents don’t buy , they just think my expectations are too high
• There is so much I want to see in the world . My mom : You can explore the world better if you have a life partner with you !!

To My Friends: Reasons why I am lying low on going for further studies

• I love my job (atleast I think I do).Except for the occasional low moments when I hate it ,and get the feeling of thrashing my machine from the highest floor. , but that phase would occur in any job I guess.
• I don’t know yet what course I want to do , and I am in no rush to jump in the guns till I know for sure.
• The economy is bad!! well , when is'nt it.

And To Myself  :

• Like a reckless soul, fidgeting around to find what hobby/liking of mine is actually a passion , and not just a phase.
• Where do I want to see myself 10 years from now, etc , etc..

Alright, I know I might just be delaying the decision as to what I want to do. I dread of having to make wrong choices. Life was easier when parents made all our decisions.
But for all I know, I am living in the moment. Maybe it ain’t too bad, I am enjoying the small things , exploring my realms.

And that’s what the book makes me feel good about, accepting the reality. In Esther’s words

“In another twenty years I would still be depressed and apathetic. I would still be waiting for that turning point, the one that comes in books and plays, where the hero has to step up and risk it all. Apparently, in life, there is no such thing.”

So to sum up what I learnt ,  I’ll  just go home with the fact that that growing up is an act of stumbling forward, and holding on to innocence can sometimes be more painful than letting go of it.